Bag-O-Rocks and Hulk Hands

Now, I don't consider myself a violent person.  I think people that have to use their fists (or feet for that matter) who are trying to get their point across are basically weenies.  But every once in a while I get filled with "the rage" where I just want to strap on a mean pair of Hulk Hands, and have at 'em.  I mean, what could be a funnier way of showing someone that you mean biz-naz, then having a gigantic green fist in your face?  Now, let me give you an example of when using Hulk Hands would be acceptable:  I was watching Animal Planet today (big mistake....big, big, BIG mistake....make....Hulk....MAD....), and there was this loser who thought that it was acceptable to have a dog living in his backyard, in horrible conditions.  The poor dog had a fractured back leg that was just dangling there, and this idiot thought it was nbd (no big deal).  *Hulk Hand to the face*  Then I made an even bigger mistake by tuning into the "Kardashians", where they basically act like a clan of spoiled rotten buffoons, who are more worried about how their dupa's look in their new pair of jeggings, or if there are any single basketball players left in the world to latch onto.  *Hulk Hand to the face*  Now, the fact of the matter is, if I ever really met any of the Kardashians in real life, I more than likely wouldn't really let them see my Hulk Hand up close and personal, but the fact of the matter is, they're annoying and kind of deserve a foam knuckle sandwich in the kisser.    The dog guy, pppbbbtttt, I think for that one I'd take the foam fists of fury off and go at him pinwheel style with my bare knuckles.  That, I would have no shame for.
Now, about the bag-o-rocks.... Let me share a little story with you to justify rocks in bags.  The other day I had to stop and get gas, and this idiot in his white Ray-Ban knock-off stunners, comes flying into the parking lot, almost taking off the front end of my car.  I'm going to assume that he had to poop really bad, and needed a potty STAT, but the truth is, he was a tool that was driving way too fast, and could've easily killed or hurt someone.  At that moment I had wished that I had a bag of rocks in my car, because I would've rolled down the window and let one fly.  No guns.  No swords.  Just a handy dandy potato sack full of rocks that I would use to dent in the words, "You're a tool" into their car hoods with said rocks.
Okay.  Deep breaths.  I think I need to take some deep cleansing breaths and calm my chi.  And by calm my chi, I mean go and put on some gargantuan green foamies and practice my Hulk stance. :)