The other day when I was flipping back and forth between watching 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo', and 'Rat B*stards' (which I'm fairly certain that both shows are a continued demonstration that the apocalypse is near. Kris Jenner is the devil reincarnate, so it's only fair that there are other clues that the world is about to implode), I had two overwhelming feelings course through my veins. My first thought was, why don't I have my own reality show?? What could be more entertaining then me spending my days drinking boxed wine, pinning things on pinterest, and talking about how I should really spray some Shout Out on my boob stain because I've found that Franzia red doesn't come out so easily. It would be a show about how I'm a hot mess, smattered with my sense of sarcasm and smart ass remarks. How could that not be appealing? My second thought had more to do with the commercials that ran in between these idiotic shows. Every single commercial that featured a cleaning product or baby food, only depicted women as the ones who were Swiffering, Febreezing, vacuuming, or changing a diaper that was presumably filled with a load. What. The. Hell. It seriously pissed me off. The last time I checked, just because you're a dude and have a dangler doesn't make you incapable of cleaning the house or dusting some furniture. I have seen Leonard with my own two eyes push around the Dyson like it was his job. Just because you have some extra weight in between your stems doesn't make a person incapable of doing a household chore. Nor should having a triangle automatically imply that you should be the only one to push around a mop or disinfect your kitchen countertops. Eventually I simmered down a bit. I mean, come on, that Honey Boo Boo is a riot, I was almost immediately riled up again when a Klondike ice cream commercial come on. Right when I saw it I practically hollered, "I HAAAAAAATE this freaking commercial!!!!" I'm pretty sure I pumped my fists in the air to show that I really meant business. What got me in a tizzy is this: The commercial goes with their normal tagline of 'What would you do for a Klondike Bar?', and a husband has to listen to his wife for a whopping five seconds. If he does, then he's awarded an ice cream treat. While he is listening he looks like he is in physical pain, and would rather be having his Georgia peaches waxed with sand paper than have to listen to his old ball and chain. By the end of the insulting thirty second commercial, the husband jumps for joy and sighs with relief after he apparently did the most difficult thing in his life. Seriously?? It's insulting to both men and women. I know it's supposed to be funny. Haha. Men have the attention span of a goldfish, and women, oh us women, tend to yammer on and on about trivial things. I felt that I should have been awarded with a ice cream square of yum just for watching that piece of crap commercial. The only type of commercial that should not use men as their spokesperson are the ones that are trying to sell feminine products. Let's be real. I don't need some dude telling me how I'll be able to comfortably high-kick and pirouette when my insides feel like they're are trying to eat through my abdomen. That can be a hands-off topic for the gentlemen.
Now, commercials are also sexist on the flip-side. Anytime a commercial comes on that is showcasing products for cars or tools, it's all dudes. I hate to break it to advertisers, but guess what? I can yield a wrench and drill like a pro. I also like to keep my car clean, and I know how to change a tire. Why would I be afraid of a little grease when I spend the majority of my day with a mustard stain on my left boob? It's all fairly insulting.
So that's my rant for the week. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I should get going though, because I have to check my cars' oil and figure out a way to get Lean Cuisine marinara out of my shirt. :)
