Good morning, Sunshine!

Is a greeting that has never, and will never apply to me.  When the alarm goes off at 5:30 in the AM, I'm like a bear being poked by an annoying stick during the middle of my hibernation time.  I often times will glare at the enemy, aka the alarm clock, and then swear at it like it has the capability of understanding my fury.  I hope for it to spit out apologies for waking me out of my slumber, instead of blaring Brittney's latest jam about letting her freak out.  The stare-off is usually proceeded by me punching it into submission for the extra nine glorious minutes of sleep.  How do I know that it's nine minutes?  Because every thirty seconds or so I crack my peepers open to see how much time has passed, and at the nine minute mark it wails its howls of annoying-ness in my face.  Finally I roll my bear-rear out of bed and slump my way into the kitchen to make my happy juice, which is also commonly known as coffee.  Ten times out of ten I feel like crying real tears of sorrow over the fact that I have to now function when I didn't get my eighteen hours of needed slumber.  The husband has long learned that it's best not to talk to me in the morning, and if he attempts to carry on a conversation, he doesn't have high expectations of full sentence responses.  Endearingly enough, he has been able to crack the code of my "AM Speak."  One grunt means, "Yes," two grunts means "We're having pork chops for dinner tonight," and three grunts means, "Your tan socks are in the dryer."  After our caveman-like conversation I usually make the attempt at putting on eyeliner with both of my eyes still closed, and then have to make big decisions like what type of disgusting Lean Cuisine should I have for lunch.  Trust me.  By 6 in the morning, a decision like that is equivalent to solving a problem dealing with quantum physics.  So, if you ever have the pleasure of seeing this happy face before eight in the morning, don't expect too much.  If I manage to crack something that resembles a smile, then it's your lucky day and the news should be alerted.  If I grunt at you four times, it just means that I need a refill on my happy juice.  Good morning, Sun Shine!  Never.  Good afternoon, you magnificent ray of light, you!  Always. :)