The Cup Runneth Over

Today's post is dedicated to my friend, Ham Boobs, who inspired this little ditty.
I believe I have already made note of this, but it is worth repeating.  I am completely incapable of owning/wearing a shirt that does not have spillage on the cleave area.  It's almost on a daily basis that my husband says, "You know, you have a stain on your boob", and my response back is the all-knowing head shake of, yes, yes I know I am an incompetent eater-slash-drinker.  Just the other day I was drinking iced tea-sitting in a stable position, on a stable surface-and I looked down after I drank, and low and behold the white tee shirt that I was sporting now had these awesome brown spots that started near the shelf, and ended somewhere around my belly button vicinity.  It has gotten to the point where I should invest stock in Tide's Stick To Go, and their new stain release thingies.
When something is not of the liquid content, then I'm for sure going to drop something down into what I like to refer to as, the boobie cavern.  Oftentimes I will be chowing down on a pretzel/pasta/taffy, and then whoops, it drops down the wrong hatch.  Without thinking, I nine times out of ten will just plunge on down into Fort Knockers, trying to find the lost goodie.  The problem is I tend to do this in public, where not everyone knows that I was attempting to eat with my elbows, and I lost an edible trinket down the boob luge.  I try to be snappy about it, but truth be told, I should start wearing more turtlenecks so this can no longer be a problem.
I leave you with the FB conversation between me and Ham Boobs (who has been an awesome and willing sport about today's post.)  I'm putting this in (further) print, because I want to prove that I'm not the only one in this world that doesn't realize that food and beverage should just end up in your gullet. :)
Ham Boobs status (aka-the inspiration): I completely just dropped a piece of ham down my bra.
Me: This just made me laugh like a donkey.  Was it in public? Don't you love having to fish something out of there, looking like a loon? :)
Ham Boobs: Yes, Kristina-it was in my spiraling ham class  (<--real location left out to protect fellow spiller),  and I sit in the front. I then proceeded to dump water all over the right side of my face while taking a sip from my water bottle.  It was a failure of a meal.
Me: You sound like me.  I think I am incapable of drinking a beverage without it spilling down my face.  I always look like I took the cup of water/coffee/juice and just tossed it in my own face, like a running champion at the end of the finish line.  I've also gotten to the point in my life where I drop things down into the boobie cavern, and I rifle around down there completely unaware that I have an audience.  You have my sympathies. :)
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See!! I'm not the only one!!!!  Alright.  The end for today my lovelies.  I have to learn how to stitch together a bib from the Youtube.   :)