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Thursday, September 1, 2011

It's all about the girth of the tail

This post is specifically for my friend Gina, who wants to *HORF* every time she hears the word "girth".  So Gina, girth girth girth girth giiiiiiiiiiiiiirth. :0) 
The reason why I know this word makes her want to vomit, is because the other day I was talking about the girth of my ponytail.  You know, the wideness and thickness of it, and we determined that her ponytail girth put my ponytail girth to shame.  You see, I shed like a Golden Retriever.  Once a month I have to bust out the Drain-o because the shower drain is clogged again from my brown locks of delight.  Every week when I vacuum, I have to take out the shears to unclog the Dyson, because my Rapunzel tendrils cause the sucker to sound like a yeti.  My luxurious strands end up on the dogs.  And at least once a day a single strand finds its way down in my shirt, nestled securely next to my unmentionables, causing it to tickle, and resulting in me shoving my hand into my tee shirt digging around like I'm trying to find buried treasure.  I feel like Gretel leaving a trail behind me, except instead of delicious gumdrops, it's hair.  At least I'll always be able to find my way back to my starting point.  I'm even considering starting a new business selling baby toupees.  I figure what I pull out of the brush every few days will be enough to don the cap of a newborn.  I like to be practical.
On an end note, for those of you that know Gina, please ask her to discuss the girth of her p-tail with you, and make sure you say the word "girth" repeatedly.  Try it in an accent to give it more flair.  She'll really enjoy it. 
*Gina, you know that I love you, and was only able to do this because I know what a great sport you are.  And trust me... she has enough on me to get me back at any time.  I'm fairly certain she knows my own list of words that make me want to vom.  And for the rest of you, you're all fair game.  Ha. ;)



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