Reduce, Reuse, Recycle...Lights, Camera, Action

Two things you need to know about me.
1) I am ridiculous when it comes to recycling.  Like it's borderline obsessive compulsive, but I just can't help it.  I will explain in a little bit though as to why I believe it is embedded so deeply in me, but let me take the time to demonstrate how ridiculous I am when it comes to saving the polar bears (and the rest of the planet.)  You know how people from PeTA will throw red paint onto people who wear gross fur coats/clothing?  Well I'm the type of person who will throw a plastic bottle at a person who dared to throw it away in the regular trash, and screech at them, "RECYCLE THIS!!!!!  Don't you want to save the polar bears?!!??!  Are you so heartless that you don't care if little Nanook, the white ball of loveliness, doesn't have an ice cap to live on?!??!"  They usually look at me perplexed and frightened, but hey, it gets the point across.  I am the type of nut person that recycles everything.  I mean EV. REY. THING.  I will cut the plastic loops that connect pop cans together, and then throw them into the recycling bin, because I can't stand the thought of a poor innocent little bird/raccoon/polar bear getting one tangled around their beak or snout, and then dying a miserable death of starvation.  I have gone to the extremes of picking up other peoples trash, and taking it home just so I can throw it into my own recycling bin.  I'm sure people are wondering where my shopping cart is that's filled with all of my worldly possessions, and that I probably live in a cardboard box down an alley with my sixty-seven cats, but whatevs.  I really don't care.  If it can be recycled, I will do my best at making sure that crinkled up pop can can be turned into a toilet seat cover, or new turtle neck, all through the magical powers of recycling.  Now, I'm going to assume you are thinking, "What the hell?" right about now, so all of this leads us up to Part II....
2)  You see, there is a reason as to why I am so committed to being a vigil anti for the planet.  When I was about ten years old, and during the most awkward stage of my adolescence,  I had the opportunity to have my picture taken and be in a NATIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOK about the importance of recycling.  You know.  NBD.  I was in the fifth grade, and the author of the bookS (oh yes, there were two books) came into my fifth grade classroom and told us the importance of recycling, and even showed us how to make recycled paper out of a concoction that resembled shredded newspaper and boogers.  When the time came and the author asked if any of us would like to have our pictures taken so we could be in the book, I flew on her like a spider monkey going after a treat.  With my arms wrapped around her neck, cutting off her air supply in all of my excitement, I exclaimed, "Pick me! Pick me!  Let me be in a book that will be sold nationwide, so millions thousands hundreds dozens of people can see me with my perm, poof bangs, donkey teeth adorned with braces, and pinned jeans!  Pick me!"  After she passed out on the floor thanks to my vice-like monkey grip, I took that as the a-okay for my debut as a recycling model.  So off I went with a handful of other dedicated recyclers, and the rest is history.
So, that's that my friends.  And remember, if it can be recycled, it should be recycled.  And if I ever see you attempt to throw something away that will threaten the life of little Nanook, I will be all over you like white on rice (that means I will be all up in your biz-naz).  Happy recycling! :)
*And for your viewing pleasure, I leave you with photographic evidence of me looking as awkward as ever.
Enjoy.
*The faces of the other students that I am pictured with have been blurred out, because I don't want anyone else to steal my limelight.