To the guillotine you go!

I just have to express my genuine aggravation over something.  I mean, it seriously pisses me off.  To the point where I wave my fists in the air filled with fury, and exclaim the same thing Every. Single. Time.  Don't believe me?  Just ask my husband, because he's the one who witnesses this on a weekly basis.... We like to watch a lot of reality shows.  No, not the Kardashians.  I CAN'T STAAAAAAAAAAAAAND them.  I think the Jersey Shore idiots look like a classy, brilliant bunch when compared to those fame whores.  But I digress.  When I say "reality t.v." I mean shows like Chopped, or X-Factor.  But there is always a line in each of those shows that drives me INSANE.  Let's see if you can spot it:  Chopped: "It's down to two contestants now, and they both will be cooking for their lives."  X-Factor:  "Tonight our remaining contestants will be singing for their lives."  Really?  Seriously?  So you're telling me that whoever is the big fat loser of the night, is going to be executed?  They're going to die if they don't win??!?  Holy crap!  What kind of contests are these?  If you don't hit the high note, or you don't know how to correctly saute a garbanzo bean, they're going to take you out back, and a firing squad will have their way with you.  I just wish they would say what they really mean, "If you suck tonight, you're off the show, and no one will be around to stroke your ego, and you'll have to go back to your job of folding pants at the Dress Barn."  If they are going to promise such things, then they need to unleash some hungry tigers.  Let's start a new trend:  "Reality Shows-Gladiator Style."  Let's do it.  And we can name the show, "You Better Run Fast, 'Cause That Starved Feline is Going to Eat You A#%."  I would't have any false advertising.  If you have the audacity to incorrectly sing 'Eye of the Tiger', or show up to my contest wearing a blazer with pointed shoulder pads, you best run.
I have to go figure out my theme song for my new show, and contact my boys Siegfried and Roy to see if I can borrow one of their tigers.  I hear one is rather feisty.   (<---I know that is bad.  Really, really bad.  But funny.  And true.  And we all know I'm all about the truth).  :)