Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your chin hair!

Soooooo, yeah.  I'm not exactly what you would a call a "Spring Chicken".  I have passed the tolerance threshold of wearing a tube top in public and getting away with it, or having more "elasticity" and "height" in my boobage.  Each year they drop about three millimeters, so I figure by the time I'm 50 they'll be down to my knees.  The picture that I'm trying to paint here is that I'm getting older, and I'm not exactly shy when it comes to admitting to the changes that I notice.  Like for example, the other day I was pulling back the skin on my face so that I looked both sleek and surprised (more like terrified), when a shiny strand caught my eye.  What is this?  I asked myself.  Is that a speck of glitter that I see perched in between my brows?  A rouge eyelash that lost its way?  Nope.  It was a long, majestic blonde hair that had decided to grow smack dab in the middle of my forehead.  In other words, I'm transforming into a unicorn before my very eyes.  Except instead of a magical horn, we can replace it with a hair.  A long, shiny, can't miss it, can't pass it off as a bang, hair.  Grrrrrreat.  So, how does one grapple with such a situation, you may be wondering.  The answer is easy.  After I stopped crying over the fact that my youth has withered down to a glistening hair that is perched atop the bridge of my nose, I grabbed the tweezers, and then began furiously wrestling with my new bang.  And guess what?  It was a slippery little jerk.  No matter the angle, that lone hair slid right out of those tweezers like a champ.  It stood there in defiance, standing straight at attention.  I believe it even waved at me and laughed.  Cripes.  What was this thing made out of?  After the umpt-teenth attempt I finally clamped it in between the tweezers and gave it a yank.  And that stupid thing curled like a Christmas ribbon.  So instead of having a poker straight hair sticking out, I now had a jheri curl.  It was a quandary.  Do I try to blow torch it off?  Mat it down with some gel?  Pull it back and try to incorporate it with the rest of my not there bangs?  Nope.  You swear at it and call it a jerk while you squeeze the tweeze with a death-like grip, and yank that little curled b@stard out.
There you have it folks.  I'm sprouting hairs in random places like a Chia Pet.  I'm random, so why shouldn't my hair particles be anything less?  So if you ever see me sporting a random curled chin hair, you really don't have to point it out to me.  I more than likely can feel it tickling me in the breeze and attempted to yank it out using hedge sheers.  Just be sure to tell me that my hairs are looking rather fantastic that day.  Maybe I'll even let you give that curl a little yank.  The bounce on those things is rather spectacular. :)