*My irrational fear of garage zombies (I will go into more detail about this one at a later time, but it pretty much coincides with the scary death man hobgoblin that lives under my bed, that will grab me by my ankles and pull me down into Torture Land-where there are spiders the size of Cadillacs, and 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' is playing on a constant loop-if I don't jump into my bed fast enough at night.)
*How I feel that skinny jeans and fedoras should be illegal (and anyone who wears them together should be shipped off to Hipster Island, where they can watch Downton Abbey on a continuous reel, and have contests like, 'Who Has The Tightest Pants', and, 'Watch How I Can Turn This Palm Frond Into A Stylish Scarf', together.)
*The fact that I have owned too many turtlenecks in my lifetime, and have used the word 'wanderlust' (Out loud. To a person that could hear me), to ever be considered cool.
*How I want to own this shirt, because I find it ironic. (*The shirt is described as a "zombie wound", but I took it to mean something totally different before I read the description. I mean, seriously. How many times have you told a person, "I'm fine," when clearly you aren't, but it's just too exhausting to explain otherwise.)
*How I want to adopt a slow loris, because this critter is one outburst of, "Scratch my wingies! With both hands! In circles!" from being the fur version of me, demanding to be tickled and/or scratched.
*And finally, how I feel awkward and uncomfortable listening to Justin Beaver "rap" about being someones boyfriend. Oh, the Beave...the Beave...
So hopefully on a day when my thoughts aren't all squishy and mushed together, I will write a cohesive piece on why there is nothing better, or more hilarious, than a deep-V neck t-shirt. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment